SI Editor's View: Bankers, meetings and arguments

04 Nov 09

Security Installer editor Alan Hyder takes an anti-populist stand on bankers' pay, and (kind of) encourages violence in the workplace (not really) in his latest column...

Barely have we put the clocks back and people are already pushing Christmas and 2010.

I had to walk out of Argos on October 26th when they started playing “Feed the World”.

So what do we call the next decade - the “tens”? ... the “teens”?

Let’s face it, the “noughties” has only just caught on, and we’re nearly out of them.

Twenty ten - the end of the recession – according to some pundits. Although it seems, uniquely for the UK, that date keeps getting pushed back.

No matter exactly when, it will leave the UK installation sector in a changed state, according to industry analysts.

The last 18 months has been a catastrophe for some installers.

According to the latest Plimsoll Analysis, one third of firms are now making a loss. A lot of those will run out of time before the recovery takes hold, says the analysis.

But it’s not all gloom, according to the report.

A prolonged period of consolidation has been long overdue and the market will find its natural level with acquisitions that will sort out the “dead wood”.

Not a great choice of words, methinks, for those honest traders that have just not been up to the financial challenge and the endless red tape I wrote about in a recent column.

Blame it on the cat

Still, now we have the blame culture. And despite them being an easy target, I’m getting a bit tired of the endless holier-than-thou media barrage against the “fat cats”.

Holding bankers to be solely responsible for the recession is a bit rich seeing as how the BBC and our national press played a leading part in the “crisis of confidence” that took us from a crunch to a catastrophe.

Ok, no one’s going to stand up in defence of those other large moggies, our discredited MPs.

We may have been unpleasantly surprised at the breadth of their dishonesty, but only the most gullible would have expected them to be doing anything other than looking after number one.

As far as the bankers are concerned, it’s their business recklessness that truly deserves our scorn, not what they’ve managed to legally stash away.

Duck the witches

If you’re in business you’re out to make as much as you can for the whole company – and especially you.

These bonuses, perks and pensions seem obscene to most people but, given the unlikely chance, they know they would take them.

Any self righteous media types out there that would refuse such astronomical sums, please form an orderly queue in the broom cupboard.

In this witch hunt against bankers there is a danger we throw the baby out with the bathwater.

I’ve got sympathy for the unpopular, minority view expressed by entrepreneur David Abingdon, who says enabling bankers – or anyone else – to be rewarded “hugely” for creating business will, ultimately, benefit the economy.

I suppose, as a millionaire, he would be expected to oppose a 50 per cent tax rate, but he’s right when he says it will curb the entrepreneurial spirit.

Envy over the good fortune of others never created anything of benefit.

In its zeal to punish and curb our fat cats, the national media will be doing its usual part in keeping the crisis going for as long as possible.

Home sweet home

If you’re one of those in danger of losing your security job, or have already lost it, for god’s sake don’t think of yourself as “dead wood”.

In the new landscape there will be new opportunities, but it’s vital you keep up to speed for free on our very wonderful website, info4security.

When things pick up – and enough fat cats stay in the UK – there’s every chance you’ll bounce back into security technology’s cutting edge.

Cutting edge research sent to me this week claims that press reports about a worsening work/life balance are misleading.

Many fathers are “electing to be at home looking after their little ones and taking care of the house”. Ah, bless ’em.

According to the survey 43 per cent of these “Stay at Home Dads” are “responding to the current recession by spending even more time helping around the house”.

I wonder if it could be anything to do with the fact that they’ve lost their day job.

Let’s pow wow

Another strange press release was sent by a “coaching” company (that’s business advice, not public transport) saying that the average office worker spends 52 minutes a day in pointless meetings.

That does seem a bit misleading. I’m not doubting the ‘pointless’ bit, but the amount of time spent.

That’s more than four hours a week in meetings, or more than two days a month for every worker... I could go on but we’d reach the point of absurdity...

You know, “In a lifetime the average motorist spends six hours driving with his eyes closed while blinking”.

Surveys eh? What would you do with them?

I suspect this 52 minutes “average” is more down to the boss spending all day whipping up their workforce to peak, mission critical performance – ie a major part of the job.

However, if you’re unfortunate enough to be in a company where everyone spends an excessive amount of time talking rather than doing, you might be interested in spicing it up with a blazing row.

Want a fight?

Yes, according to “new research” reported on the BBC website, an almighty row could help creative thinking in the workplace.

Forget co-operation, just concentrate on how loud you can shout in a “robust exchange of ideas”.

Companies could benefit from the creative sparks generated even if it turns into a heated argument, says the report.

It sounds like that vintage Monty Python sketch “Is this the right room for an argument?”

“This is abuse. You want room 12A, just along the corridor”.

Having a blazing row to increase productivity sounds good fun.

I’m sure there are a good few burly installation engineers who would like to do a few rounds with the boss in this way.

But the whole prospect lets itself down after the report degenerates into an advice panel on “How to argue”.

I would have expected advice such as “If your colleague does not agree with your harmonised landscape vision going forward, first grab their windpipe...”

Instead we are given the same old business consultant cobblers: “Don’t think winners/losers. Explore ideas to co-create winners/winners”.

Yeah, then go and have a swim in Lake Me.

There goes another promising concept down the drain.